Lost in the Corn Maze

The nice woman who checked us in for the Corn Maze at Beans & Greens in Gilford said that it may be a bit much for a 4 year old. I was undeterred. Julius and I boldly marched across the street and through the field to the entrance of the maze. We were like, “Corn Maze, prepare to be defeated.” There may have been a fist punch upon entering.

Julius in the corn maze

Julius in the corn maze

We breezed through the kid’s part of the maze. They give each kid a piece of paper with little pictures on it. The pictures are posted throughout the maze. Each picture has a letter next to it. It’s a code. So you go around finding all the letters and then you get to see the message they gave you on your piece of paper. Very fun. Only took us like 10 minutes. We were like, “Oh yeah, we got this.”

We made it to the first bridge, which is where the grown up part of the maze begins. We stood proudly on the bridge and looked at each other. “Yeah, let’s do this thing” we said.

At first, we seemed to do really well. We figured out how to recognize the traps/dead ends/circles and avoid them for the most part and we made it to the second bridge in less than 15 minutes. That seemed promising. I thought, from the road, it looks like the second bridge must be pretty far through the maze. We must be getting close.

Then we came to the intersection of death. You can’t see where either path leads. One looks like it’s got lots of twists and turns. The other is a long straightaway. I chose the latter. And then it all went downhill. I couldn’t figure out which path to take off the straightaway. There were like 10 or 15 to choose from and I couldn’t see where any of them led. We started choosing paths at random. Hm. Just when I started to accept that we were lost, I heard the dreaded words: “Mom, I have to poop.” I laughed and said, “Of COURSE you have to poop now that we are lost in the middle of a gigantic corn maze!”

I started to panic. Any of you readers who have survived what I like to call an EPIC (Extreme Poop Incident of Child origin) will understand why. I had horrible visions of having to rip and tear off the bottom half of my shirt if things went as badly as I feared they might. I broke out in a sweat, desperately scanning my surroundings.

I am proud to say that I kept it together. I turned us around and we back-tracked until we found something we definitely had seen before and then we kept on back-tracking all the way out of that maze. We made it to the restroom unscathed. Crisis averted.

Maybe next time I’ll get a babysitter and take the husband instead. I want to give it another try!

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