My roommates.

seinfeldOkay, so they’re technically my parents. Living at home when you’re 24 (almost 25 … my birthday is Saturday) and a college graduate isn’t always as glamorous as it may seem. Yes, they graciously give me a food & shelter but there are moments where I’d rather be squatting in someone’s shed. The fact that I’m not the only one my age living with (and off) my parents keeps me sane. Yes, my mother raised her voice at me tonight when I complained that there wasn’t any minestrone soup, but for the most part it’s not too shabby. Here are some helpful guidelines when transitioning from living alone to back in with dear old mom & dad. Keep in mind; these are super beneficial tips when you’re living at home and unemployed.

1.     Don’t touch the thermostat.

2.     Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, even if it’s your own bathroom.

3.     If your parents ask you if there’s anything you need at the grocery store, don’t hesitate to ask for things. That’s your chance! I usually go for a box of saltines (they last long), minestrone soup (except this week apparently) and I jokingly ask for Lucky Charms.  Don’t ask for soda, they hate that… or booze.

4.     Take in the trash barrels. Its only once a week.

5.     If you go shopping, hide the store bags in your car and dispose of them at the gas station. If my mother spies one Gap bag, I’m in deep s%*#. Also, don’t forget about those sneaky tags you rip off new items. Get rid of them, too.

6.     Coffee. If you bought yourself a Grande latte at Starbucks, don’t bring it home. Down that sucker in the driveway, crunch it up and stick it under your seat. “We have a Keurig! It’s FREE.” is something I’ve heard too many times. Same with leftovers from eating out. Avoid it at all costs.

7.     Communicate. Parents get it. Not all the time, but they do for the majority. Keep them in the know of what’s going on in your life. They were your age once.

8.     Try not to sleep in too late. I know, I know… who wakes up at 7am and enjoys it? They do, so set your alarm for a reasonable 9am on the weekends & pretend like you’ve got your act together.

9.     Hesitate from inviting your friends over. Go to a coffee shop (just don’t bring home the evidence); go to their house, or basically anywhere that’s not your parents’ house. My parents aren’t big fans. “This isn’t a dorm room, Alyssa!”

10. Don’t touch the thermostat. Really.

It’ll get better. I’ll move out (and the rest of my generation who are living at home). And before I know it, they’ll probably be living with me. Oh, the circle of life.